Brain-Pause:
Have you ever heard of Brain Pause? It occurs when all forms of thoughts are suspended. You know one’s thoughts flow out into one’s pen and onto the paper or laptop, but with brain pause, you have lost inspiration and cannot think or write. I praise God Almighty, who makes all things possible. Here we are again in a subjective talk, or is it interactive? I don’t know! Maybe I should stop here but wait; some random thoughts are bye-passing. Maybe we can share these thoughts.
Let me start with this killer man. He was dating his best friend’s wife. His wife has no knowledge of this and plays the sister role to a woman she considers a wife to her husband’s friend. She happened to be the only one not in the knowledge of this illicit affair that could have killed her if not that the secret had been revealed just in time.
“You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. Who wants to keep his garden tidy does not reserve a plot for weeds” – Dag Hammarskjold
God saves us from wicked people. I sincerely hope the men are listening to Dag (as quoted above). Maybe the problem is the span of getting bored. To most men, women are playthings, and they quickly get bored: I’ve read many different hypotheses on attention span, but my favorite is this quote:
“Continuous attention span, or the amount of time a human can focus on an object without any lapse, is very brief and may be as short as 8 seconds. After this time, it is likely that an individual’s eyes will shift focus or that a stray thought will briefly enter consciousness.”
Men’s attention span (unless it’s a football game) is terrible. Relationships are not always exciting, so getting through those flat-line moments between the sparks is critical. The relationship is doomed if they start having more fun with other activities. Let me recount here some direct statements and reasons from some men. These statements are laughable, but women can learn lessons from these submissions:
One of Us Was Too Serious:
It could be as simple as she wanted to see me three times a week, and I only wanted to see her once a week if she was flirting with other guys. Flighty or not as into it as I am, I’m too severe for her.
Burnout:
I’m a big believer in pacing and rhythm in dating. A relationship can suffer burnout if certain milestones occur too fast: being exclusive, having sex, meeting parents. When that happens, I get that feeling the colonists must have gotten after they won the Revolutionary War: “Ok, we did it…so now what?”
I Was Tempted To Cheat:
I do my best not to cheat, so when I have recurring urges to cheat on my girlfriend, I figure it’s time to break up with her. I don’t need to go through with cheating; the constant urge is enough for me to end things.
All My Friends Broke Up With Their Girlfriends:
This is by far the most immature reason on this list. While my girlfriend and I are curled up on the couch watching “The Devil Wears Prada,” my newly single guy friends are shredding the karaoke waves with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin” and tearing up the town. That conflict gives me wanderlust. It’s much easier when we are all in for a quiet Saturday night with our significant others.
Divergent Lives:
If someone moves to another town, work is taking over, or other life changes are driving you apart, sometimes it’s best to end it.
Feeling Selfish:
Dating is selfless because you give your time and yourself to a relationship. “My time” is necessary at some point to work on a career/living situation, travel, or whatever. When I’m in a “selfish period,” it’s tough to participate in a relationship.
I “Misread” My Feelings:
This is the most unfair of all the reasons. Both genders make this mistake—you get into a relationship, and everything seems great. Then, a few weeks later, you realize you got wrapped up in something for the wrong reason, dated for the sake of dating, and you need to get out.
My Friends Or Family Don’t Like Her:
I pay close attention to friends’/family’s opinions because they know me best, and they’ve earned the right to have their say. Also, friends and family may be able to see things inside the relationship that I’m too blinded to see.
I Took Her For Granted:
Great relationships should be easy, but there has to be some tension, too – especially in the beginning. If it’s too easy, there’s a lack of challenge. If I feel like I could have her heart any time, any place, sometimes I’ll let her go. It almost always haunts me later, though I never learn.
She is Too Negative:
All too often, I end up with the brooding, depressed, uptight type who is constantly complaining. I don’t expect someone to be always happy, but if she makes me unhappy every time I see her, why stay with her?
Let us ponder the above excuses and concentrate on cycles of social history and principles that govern human effectiveness. These principles surface time and time again, and the degree to which people in the society recognize and live in harmony with them moves them toward either survival and stability or disintegration and destruction.
Examples of these principles are:
- The Principle of fairness, out of which our whole concept of equity and justice is developed.
- The Principles of integrity and honesty create the foundation of trust, which is essential to cooperation and long-term personal and interpersonal growth.
- The Principle of human dignity.
- The Principle of quality or excellence.
- The principle of growth is the process of releasing potential and developing talents with the accompanying need for principles such as patience, nurturance, and encouragement.
Men have their various beats. Let us look at this bitter experience of a foreign-based woman. This married man traveled to a foreign country where he met this woman who had recently divorced her husband, and she was trying so hard to raise her three children. The two of them were introduced by a mutual friend at an event, and he sweet-tongued the woman into starting a relationship with him by promising her marriage. The gist is that he played on the woman’s sympathy with his story of losing his parents at a tender age, and the worst thing that happened to him was marrying the wrong woman. He claimed he impregnated his wife when she was young and has taken care of her, including her education to the University level, and when she graduated, she refused to work to support him. According to him, his wife is always nagging and contributes nothing to his life. He then pleaded with this woman to help him, be a mother to him, support him financially, and he will be a father to her children. Initially, this woman, out of pity that later developed into full-blown love got entangled with this liar man who ripped her of several millions of her money. She sold her house, gold, and many other things to support this lazy man while he left her with a child. He never married her as promised; she learned he lives with lonely wealthy women and has fathered nine children outside wedlock.
Let me end by elaborating on the effects of “INSINCERITY.” Insincerity in men and women is terrible. And the effects of insincerity are many and serve as pollution to human character; it removes dignity and is a source of corruption. As you read through, ask yourself one salient question – Am I a Sincere Person?
Insincerity takes all dignity out of life:
Insincerity makes this world shallow. We think we can be insincere, and men will be tricked and never find it out. All reverence is impossible, all purity is stained, and all innocence rebukes one with insincerity.
Insincerity Distorts the Character:
Insincerity carries yet another curse. No Sin so eats the manhood out of us as insincerity. No Sin robs the character of its quiet, restfulness, and strength and leaves it restless, shifty, self-assertive, and loud than insincerity.
Insincerity Destroys Our Influence:
Surely, no sin saps and undermines our influence as insincerity. Perhaps you think you have no influence. You feel like a non-influential person. And perhaps the men who influence us most are those who never tried to influence us. Insincerity is the one bolt that falls out of the blue to shatter this unconscious influence of character. I may be ignorant, and men may not despise me. I may be poor, and I still command respect. But ignorant or learned, rich or poor, once let men feel that you are insincere and all your influence for good is gone. It’s a sad hour when a son sees through his parents; Sad for the parents, twice sad for the son.
The Synonyms of Insincerity are Dishonesty; Disingenuousness; Hypocrisy; Deceit; Artificiality; and Mendaciousness. While the Antonym is Sincerity. We must tow the path of Sincerity in all our ways. Sincerity without humility is the stubbornness out of which fools are made.
The frank humankind is always humble. A word is enough for the wise.
