Family Values (1)

 What is a Family?

The definition of a family is necessary here to understand what we know as family values. Family in the traditional setting and the Bible was based on the father, mother, and the children. The tradition and Bible also recognize siblings and other close relatives in the extended family manner. In the Bible, family ties were so pronounced that God warned Israelites not to pollute themselves with an unlawful sexual relationship with family members (Leviticus 18:6-20).

The society also celebrates family days that were set apart to commemorate the uniqueness of family members, such as; Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and the Children’s day. I come from the Yoruba nation, which believed and practiced polygamy. Polygamy included the father, several wives (mothers), and children of these wives and concubines. The polygamy structure is also revealed in the Old Testament in the lives of Abraham, Jacob, King David, and Solomon, to mention a few.

 The family I come from is strictly monogamous. My father married my mother alone as his wife. My mother was blessed with ten children, but only six survived. I am the oldest of the surviving six children. Our family enjoys unusual closeness and fellowship uncommon in other families. I believe this was made possible because of the Christian style of governance in the family and the total dedication of my parents to Jesus Christ.

Today, we have a diversity of family structures. At the societal level in general, the new family structures are very different from the traditional married families to single-parent families, to families built around partnerships with or without marriage which include members who may be stepparents, grandparents, gay or lesbian parents, or partners.

Evolving Parental Roles

The father was the indisputable head of the family, and the mother was a homemaker in the past. Women had a rigid traditional role on the home front, to keep the home, undertake domestic chores, take care of the husband by cooking delicious meals and train the children. The change in this traditional role impacts the lives of men and children. Society’s recognition of the diversity of family types must be seen in the evolving and changing roles engaged in by women and men and in society’s understanding of same-sex relationships. Feminist movements have dramatically changed the way women plan their lives in terms of how they will invest their time, whether it be invested in career, family, or other activities. Nowadays, there is a general call for men to share in the domestic responsibilities to allow women desirous of achieving their careers and family goals and avoid stress overload.

Debasement Of Family Values

It is a well-known fact that family values have been debased. Parents no longer play their traditional roles, and children are disobedient and act flagrantly against social norms and duties. The attributes of old family values include honesty, respect, purity, caring, and commitment, and these have been thrown into the garbage.

Today families have been shattered by divorce, and truth has been thrown out of homes. Parents lack integrity, and children are more criminally prone than being obedient. There is no respect for traditional family roles anymore. Each family member is more interested in what is in there for them. Children are at home alone while parents are at work, sex outside of marriage is accepted, truth is relative, and the focus is more on self-interest than family interest.

There is no longer respect for lives, especially as television, computer, social media, and the Internet expose the future generation to commonplace crimes and more crimes. Children are exposed to video and computer games that glorify killings, rituals, and nudity. Is it any wonder there is no respect for life anymore?

Who is to Blame?

Ask any sinner who is to blame? The answer is not far-fetched. It is, of course, Satan, the Devil. Of course, ultimately, Satan is to blame. Satan will do all in his powerless power to bring down humankind. Satan aims to bring everything possible to bear on the inhabitants of the earth that will cause them to turn far away from God. Besides, Satan enjoys hurting, maiming, and killing humans in the most degrading way, thereby bringing sorrow to the tender heart of the great God of love and compassion.

Let us face facts and put the blame where it should be. Our families themselves must share responsibility for the woeful state of our society today. Fathers and mothers in their homes have allowed the society around them to dictate our values and standards. Parents have left undone the things required of them. Children depend on their parents to guide them in the right direction, but most parents have failed in this duty.

The fact is that homes have become houses, and they are run on shifts. Most homes are run on three shifts with the father on the night shift, the mother on the day shift, and the children shift for themselves. It is nothing but chasing the wind. The wind of life propelled by Satan sends families in all directions, negatively abandoning the right direction that leads to God. Jesus is the only way, the truth, and life (John 14:6). Parents have permitted our violence-addicted culture to re-program their children through films/movies, music, cartoons, and video games we pay for their enjoyment.

Life Complexes (2) – Final

In dealing with life complexes, Christian needs to grow Christian character based on allowing God to develop His character in our personal lives. Paul echoes this in 2 Corinthians 3:18. Character development is a continuous process dependent upon our constant ‘beholding’ of the Lord through His Word. Peter also emphasized this in 2 Peter 1:3-8. God’s perspective on life complexes focuses on Christian Character Traits (CCT).

 Careless thinking can lead to wrong decisions and inaction. Let us think about what’s good, right, pure and true. May God’s word control our thoughts in everything we do. (Fitzhugh).

Our life complexes could be turned positive or negative depending on the Thesis, Antithesis, or Synthesis permitted by you. God has given us free will to choose. When God controls your life, He produces His fruits or attributes in your character (Thesis). If you allow Satan to be in control, he will produce the direct opposite of God’s fruits (Antithesis) or compromise your character (Synthesis).

Fleshy traits are Satan’s fruits, enumerated in Proverbs and Galatians. Proverbs 6:16-17 lists Proud look (pride), lying tongue, the bloodshed of the innocents, wicked plotting, quickness to do evil, false witness, and discord. Galatians 5: 19-21 include; carousing, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, and immorality. These are the Antithesis and Synthesis of God’s fruits.

Christian Character Traits are produced through exposure to God. These traits are enumerated in the books of Galatians, 2 Peter and Matthew. Those traits listed in Galatians 5:22, 23 are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 2 Peter 1: 3-8 listed the traits of virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, and brotherly kindness. Matthew 5: 3-12 enumerated Character Traits in persons as poor in spirit: those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, peacemakers, and those who rejoice in persecution.

We must recognize the influence of our home environment, parents, school, church, job, government, and friends in shaping our character. Some of the influences on us took place in us as little children and cannot be easily erased, but careful regulation of one’s current lifestyle through walking in the light of God can help one overcome. Try at all times to honor God. When the word of God influences your mind and the Holy Spirit interacts with the decision-making process of the faculties of your soul, intellect, emotions, and will, whatever decision you will honor God.

There is a tremendous difference between character and reputation. Reputation is what people think you are, and character is what God knows. Whatever man says is immaterial; what God knows you are, is paramount and very important. Do not allow life complexes to swallow you up, to destroy your self-esteem. Be up to the task ahead of you. Gold is refined in fire to bring out the beauty; the character is also refined to become the child of the Kingdom.

 There is a direct link between a person’s beliefs and one’s behavior. One’s behavior is a reflection of what one truly believes. If you genuinely believe in Jesus Christ, you must reflect Christ in your behavioral patterns. You must think and act like a faithful Christian, a disciple of the Master.

Years ago in my home country, I was strolling in my courtyard, looking at the plants and natural flowers beautifully arranged in the Portico. One particular plant attracted my attention. It is called Queen of the Night. The smell purifying my courtyard from this particular plant smells so much better than any manufactured perfume, and I wondered at the work of God. I looked at the nature around me, the birds flying in the sky, the different plants and flowers wonderfully made, and I praised God Almighty. I praised Him for life; I praised Him for His great Love that endures forever. I am assured that God did more for humankind that He created in His image than what He did to other creations.

 According to Napoleon, the driving force behind the behavior is self-interest (people doing what they do principally in their interest) or fear (doing what they do because they fear the consequences, perceived or otherwise, of not doing it). Individual behavior changes according to context: an aggressive person at work may be a gentle, loving parent at home, or a person you find shy may be open and outgoing in the company of others. No one can fathom the deceptions of our hearts. Hypocrisy is born out of our hearts, and man has many manifestations. Call it double personality or many personalities. All are involved in this interchange of character and attitude. Only our convictions make the difference.

 You cannot know the mind of a human being. People at times move close to you to enable them to pull you down. Friends are at times worse than those you regard as enemies. People do you evil and yet sympathize with you. People go to the extreme to have their pound of flesh on whosoever offends them. Forgiveness is not in their dictionary; instead, they look for ways to retaliate. You never know what to do to please human beings. They are not happy when you are successful. If you are rich, you are in trouble; you are also in trouble if you are not rich. Terrible things happen in this world. People possess terrestrial powers to use against their fellow human beings to ensure they fail in their endeavors.

 Many people have died untimely, while some have committed suicide. People perpetrate evil, using their fellow beings for money rituals. Some ensure pregnant women do not deliver safely or kill others due to land disputes. I am, at times, scared of human beings. It is only God who can rescue us from these terrible beings. God is our only strength and tower. God is our refuge in times of trouble.

 My conviction comes forte once more that I was made to worship God forever and ever. Life complexes become simplified, for I know of a potent power in Jesus Christ. I give you an assurance of faith that can move mountains if only you do not doubt but believe. That is the secret of victorious living. Stay permanently connected to the only source of power, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Only in Him and through Him (Jesus Christ) can you solve life’s complexes.

 

Life Complexes (1)

 We are perpetually in conflict and at war with our sole enemy, the Devil. To win this great battle, we must be clad with the armor of God (Eph 6:11-17). We must rid ourselves of life complexes that hinder us in the conflict with our spiritual enemy. We must lay aside the excessive desire for possessions, the captivating love of money, power, and position, an endless pursuit of pleasure, slavery to sinful passions, or a burdensome legalism. 

 Life complexes are genuinely complex. It depends on what you make of it. It also depends on the perspective you use. Only God’s perspective is good, pleasing, and perfect. Satan has designed its perspective that looks enticing but leads to death. Fleshy perspective also looks enticing and beautiful but leads to death. I am taking a critical look at all perspectives and do what is known as SWOT analysis to reach the only conclusion, God’s perspective.

 Let’s carefully look at any living creature to understand its enormous complexity. If you have a pet like a dog or a cat, consider the complexities that must enable the pet to move about, play, remember you, show affection, eat and reproduce. If you have ever held a beloved pet in your hands, completely limb or dead, you may feel or experience the helplessness of the most intelligent scientist when it comes to the overwhelming problem of trying to create life. In nature, we have only matter, energy, time, chance, physical laws, and no guiding force, purpose, or goal.

Man is overwhelmed by the complexities of life despite the newly accumulated knowledge, advanced tools, and experience. Despite the intelligence advanced from Information Technology, we are still far from solving life complexes. All living things are incredibly complex; even the prokaryote bacterial cell is a masterpiece of miniaturized complexity that makes a spaceship seem relatively low-tech.

However, none surpasses the overall complexity of the human being. Each person is constructed of molecules and cells, and the human brain alone is filled with billions of cells forming trillions of connections. The human brain is far more complicated than any computer as it can store and creatively manipulate infinite amounts of information. Human brain capabilities and potentials stagger the imagination, and the more you use your brain, the better the brain becomes. It recalls the uniqueness of our creation by God in His image. God is truly remarkable. God is truly remarkable and excellent. He is the Omnipresence, Omnipotent and Omniscience Creator. Glory, Honor and Adoration to God our creator.

 The heart, soul, and mind of humans work together to attempt to explain the complexities of life. There are critical decisions in our lives that we must make that affect us for the rest of our years.

These life-changing decisions include

1. Type of Education;
2. Religion to follow;
3. Career or job to do;
4. A place to live;
5. Who to marry;
6. Number of Children among others; and
7. Decisions on surrounding activities.

The question is, what are the things so essential to adult life? Let us consider some of these Essentials.

 Work or Job:

You must have a job to survive and alleviate poverty. Your job provides you with money for life’s basic needs. Whether you work for someone or yourself, it requires commitment for maximum profitability and gains to provide good things in life.

A House (A Place to Live):

Human beings, unlike beasts, require shelter and a place to live; even rabbits hide in holes to shelter them. A man may rent, purchase or build a house to live in, the requirement is the same, and it involves money. Money acquired from work determines your basic standard of living. Little money enables you to rent a place, and more money makes you build or purchase your own house. One of the basic needs of man is a place to live in, a house to retire after a day’s labor, and a house to entertain friends and relations. If you wander around without a stable place to live, you can never be fulfilled or have the will for a stable job.  

Food:

Food is essential to keep healthy and remain alive. You can cook your meal, your wife can prepare your meal, or you can buy from various food vendors. A la Carte or fast food is immaterial. What is essential is the provision of food to eat. You need money to have food to eat and provide for the entire family. Without money, you will scavenge for food, which is very unhealthy.

 The other essentials include water, light, transportation, and clothing. For all these, money is essential. It brings me to one conclusion without money, life is empty. Satan corrupted money, not that money is terrible as a medium of exchange. Satan used the money to complicate life complexities. Money is worshipped by so many that they have lost the essential thing, the salvation of their souls. How do we cope in this life with or without money? How can one live in stupendous wealth without sacrificing eternity? Jesus never said one could not be rich but warned us not to worship money. “Give unto Caesar what is Caesar and unto God what is God.” Money is valuable; it eases our plans of survival in this world.

 Money enhances and helps spread the Gospel, and it promotes evangelism. We can provide for the poor, clothe the naked, and feed the hungry with money. Reading and understanding Jesus’ sayings in Matthew 25: 34-40 is necessary. For Jesus said, providing physical help to others is the same as helping our Savior himself. “Thus, says the Lord of hosts. ‘Consider your ways!” (Haggai 1:7). Through prophet Haggai, God told the people in Jerusalem to consider their ways after the exile. They were living selfish lives of luxury instead of completing God’s temple. It reveals to us the essential.

 We should spend money wisely. We should use the money to help the church and the needy. You must provide for your family because whosoever fails to provide for his family is worse than an infidel. Free giving is a covenant way to enjoy the garden of financial fortunes. God is committed to opening the heaven and blessing you with a double portion, but you have your part to play. 1 Samuel 2:30b says, “Those who honor me, I will honor.”

 Those who water will be watered. So wise spending is the way out. Commit your wealth to the Lord, and He will direct your path to disburse and spend wisely to avoid losing the most precious thing, your salvation. Do not be a slave to your money; free giving enriches you more. Learn to give, and you will be richly blessed. Worship only your God who redeems you with His precious blood. Be very careful and never allow Satan to rule you through money.

 

 

 

 

Child Abuse

Jesus valued children as persons of worth. “Let the little children come to me and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14). It was Jesus’ response to his disciples when they reprimanded people for bringing children to him. Jesus also reminded those who criticized children after his triumphal entry into Jerusalem that God had ordained praise “out of the mouths of babes and nursing infants” (Matthew 21:16; Psalm 8:2).

Adults always push children aside, but Jesus made us aware of the importance of these species of human beings. For continuous existence, a child is crucial to a family, house, and nation. A country can be destroyed without warfare equipment if their little ones are killed; or eradicated, and new ones are not allowed to be born by ensuring infertility of childbearing adults. The question then is: if a child is so important, why abuse a child? The answer lies in perversion and ungodly attributes.

When a baby is born, the family is delighted and thrilled at the new addition to the family. Neighbors, friends, and relations use the opportunity to wish the family well in a joyous mood. At times the naming of the baby comes with a big party with plenty to eat and drink. The baby starts to grow and faces minor hardships. The baby begins to enjoy or suffer depending on the family and environment the baby is born. Only unplanned babies born out of pre-marital sex or out of wedlock arrive with no pomp or pleasantness. Babies generally enjoy cocktail arrival and are like salt of the earth. It is then unholy to abuse a child or subject them to abuse.

Child abusers are family, neighbors, friends, uncles, aunties, nieces, nephews, or anyone close enough to affect the child’s life. Child abuse is not only physical assault on the child. A child that is supposed to be brought up in a loving environment finds itself on a tightrope fighting for dear life. A child can be battered spiritually and bodily. Spiritual assault is more damaging because it is not easily discovered and can mar the child for life, except the grown-up child embraces Jesus Christ as Lord and Redeemer. Physical assault, which at times causes withdrawal syndrome, is easily observed and, if taken up on time, has solutions for damage repairs though some effects are the last longing.

 It is a sad irony that many abusers genuinely love their children, but they find themselves caught in life situations beyond their control, and they do not know how to cope. They are often isolated from friends and family and may have no one to give them emotional support. They may not like themselves and may not know how to meet their emotional needs. (National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse).

 The effects of abuse are devastating and produce extended-lasting negative attributes and feelings. Children that have been abused physically, sexually, or emotionally suffer a wide range of effects from their victimization. The effects produce feelings of:

1. Guilt;
2. Violation;
3. Loss of Control; and
4. Losses of esteem cause lower esteem of self.

 Despite these feelings, many problems are associated with their abuse. These problems include but are not limited to:

1. Poor performance in school;
2. Emotional disturbance
3. Exposure to further abuse;
4. Lack of Character and behavioral problems; and
5. Low I.Q.

 Child abuse is not limited to an area or some people. It happens in all socio-economic, racial, ethnic, and religious groups. Abuse is a consistent and pervasive element in the backgrounds of low achievers, prostitutes, runaways, drug users/ abusers, and incarcerated individuals. Prevention is better than cure. Many abused children stand the risk of being abused repeatedly, especially when they are still exposed to the same abusers. “Love conquers all,” echoes a wise saying. In a home where love reigns, family abuse is eradicated. The fear of God in the family members exemplified in the Agape love will make it impossible for any family member to abuse another.

 The trauma and devastating effects of child abuse take their inevitable toll on society and the church. The effects escalate violence in society. Children are gifts from God and are born to grow and be nurtured in love. Children should be taught to articulate their needs and feelings for self-protection. Parental duty involves training the children to become honest citizens with an exemplary character modeled in the life of Jesus (as a child), who obeyed his earthly parents and represented all excellent virtues. Instead, children are exploited, beaten, punished, taken advantage of, manipulated, neglected, and abused till their integrity is impaired.

The children in this hostile environment cannot express their pains and anger and are compelled to suppress their feelings and the memory of the trauma. This suppression finds a window of escape in criminality; destructive acts against others or themselves like drug addiction, alcoholism, prostitution, murder, assassination, psychic disorders, suicide, and other criminal behaviors. If you are not brought up with love, you will find it difficult to show or exhibit love. An abused parent will often direct acts of revenge against his children, which becomes a vicious cycle of abuse. A child needs an adult to believe in them. 

 A child needs protection and loves, not maltreatment. The church and society need to wake up to their roles. And stop blaming the victim but the abuser. So far, society has protected the adult from the child. It is in keeping with our great grandparents’ traditional pedagogical principles, which viewed children as crafty creatures dominated by wickedness. That has also contributed to the children blaming themselves for their parents’ cruelty. And to absolve them of all responsibility because they love their parents.

 Thanks to scientific development. It is known that a child responds to and learns tenderness and cruelty from the womb. New parents are learning to treat their babies well from the beginning, which might end the perpetuation of violence from the new generation. Those whose integrity was not damaged in childhood, protected, loved, respected, and treated with honesty by their parents will also be intelligent, responsive, empathetic, loving, kind, and highly sensitive. They will not tend to hurt anyone but rather respect and protect those weaker than themselves and will be able to handle intimidation in their adult life.

 Parental watchfulness is essential in getting outsiders not to abuse their children. The coming of the Internet and Computer has added to child abuse by promoting Child Pornography. Pornography is the treatment of sexual subjects in pictures or writing in a way that is meant to cause sexual excitement (Longman Dictionary). Children get exposed to pornography through books, photographs, films, the Internet, etc., parade nude and willing participants. The constant and consistent exposure becomes recurrent, distressing, and interferes in the child’s daily functioning. Pornography is addictive and evil.

 Parents are to protect their children from Internet abuse in sexual chatting on the net. Innocently children are lured into this unknowingly. A parent must advise their child never to give personal information on the net. Please keep your child away from the chat room. Be aware of your child’s vulnerability on the Internet. It is a well-established fact that fathers often abuse their children or stepchildren. So a mother has a double role of being a friend and confidant to her child, especially a daughter. Your daughter must have an implicit belief in you as her best friend to make her confide in you when she is sexually abused. Disbelief and distrust come between mother and daughter when you don’t communicate and are far apart. Your child should be able to talk to you. Do not play God to the detriment of your child; even God loves us and cares for children to come closer.

 The universal economic situation does not help the matter. Both parents involved in the rat race leave their children to themselves, or house-helps or at the mercy of neighbors. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” No one can fathom the deceptions of the hearts., so no one can be truly trusted. Uncles and cousins have had an incestuous sexual relationship with their female relations without the parents’ knowledge.

Some parents have expressed their frustrations with their children, subjecting them to inhuman treatment. Some parents have sent their children on errands bigger than their abilities, and failure of accomplishment on the children’s part results in physical abuse. We must learn to show and demonstrate love to our young ones. It takes only love to make children truly happy, and we are our parents’ duty to do this.

 Child abuse is terrible, and child abuse is wicked. Believers are to protect children, either theirs or others that are near. God loves us all, and it is our duty to young ones to love them and care for their welfare. Please report any child abuse case to the nearest police station to save the youngsters from a life of crime.

 

Compulsive Sexual Behavior (CSB)

Sexual sin produces consequences that affect those involved deeply. It defiles the body and damages its ability to fulfill God’s purposes. In its quest to be God, Devil counterfeits most things God created for the enjoyment and pleasure of humankind. Lust is the counterfeit of love, and lust leads to sexual addiction, better known as Compulsive Sexual Behavior (CSB).

CSB has devastating effects on humankind. Like most behaviors, sex can be taken to obsessive and compulsive extremes. It destabilizes the brain, causes mental malfunctioning, makes people misbehave, and gets them disoriented.

Sex taken to an extreme, causes spiritual separation. Rather than think of pure love of God and oil fellowship with your creator, you are entangled in lustful feelings that degrade your personality and ruin your relationship with God.

God created sex for couples to enjoy and, through the act, join God in the creation continuum, but the devil uses sex to cause chaotic situations in the world. Sexual obsessions and compulsions are recurrent and distressing and interfere with daily functioning. There are two main types of Sexual addiction or Compulsive sexual behavior (CSB). They are:

1. Paraphilic and
2. Non-Paraphilic

Sexual scientists describe the phenomenon of CSB as:

1. Hyper Sexuality
2. Erotomania
3. Nymphomania
4. Satyriasis

The various terminologies imply different values, attitudes & theoretical orientations.

Paraphilic CSB

Paraphilic CSB is the sexual urge or behavior involving nonhuman objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner or children, or other non-consenting persons.

The Most Common Paraphilic CSBs are:

1. Pedophilia is a sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children.
2. Exhibitionism is a sexual excitement associated with exposing one’s genitals in public.
3. Voyeurism is a sexual excitement from watching an unsuspecting person.
4. Sexual Masochism is a sexual excitement from receiving the threat or administration of pain.
5. Sexual Sadism is a sexual excitement from threatening or administration of pain.
6. Transvestic Fetishism is a sexual excitement from wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. Male and Female adolescents engage in gender-bending. This practice involves males dressing like females, such as hair plaiting, ear piercing, jerry coils or dyeing of head hairs, etc. Females wear men’s trousers and, at times, act and manifest masculine traits. These types of sexual perversion are used to lure or harass victims.
7. Frotteurism is a sexual excitement from touching or rubbing an unsuspecting person. It takes the form of mild transgressions to severe abuses in sexual touching.

All these forms of Paraphilic CSB are not conventional sexual behaviors. They are degrading and lowering the self-esteem of those involved, leading to crime.

Non-Paraphilic CSB

Non-Paraphilic CSB involves conventional sexual behaviors but is recurrent, distressing, and interferes in daily functioning when taken to an extreme. The forms of Non-Paraphilic CSB include Compulsive:

1. Fixation on an unattainable partner
2. Masturbation
3. Love relationships; and
4. Sexuality in a relationship

The Causes of Compulsive Sexual Behavior (CSB) is a complex disorder that involves biological, psychological, and social factors. The treatment at times involves a combination of psychotherapy and prescription drugs. Sexual addiction, like other addictions, is a sin.

1. It defiles the body and damages its ability to fulfill God’s Purpose (1Cor.: 12-20).
2. It grieves God’s Spirit (Eph 4:31, 1Thess 5:19).
3. It forms a stronghold for evil (Rom 1:28-32).
4. It causes Spiritual confusion (1 Tim 4:2, Titus 1:15, James 1:4, Heb 6:1-8).
5. It causes emotional confusion and evil soul tie
6. It destroys happiness, marriages, families, and friendship
7. It leads to the unbridled pursuit of lust and perversion (Eph 4:19, Romans 1: 24-28) and
8. It causes a loss of Sanctification, anointing, and Purity (1 Thess. 4: 3-5, Eph 5:3).

Solution:

Addiction treatments like psychosurgery, psychoanalysis, psychedelics, self-help, acupuncture, group confrontation, family therapy, hypnosis, meditation, and education are suitable. Still, an addict need not depend on these alone but Christ and Prayer.

How do you recognize you need help?

1. Do you or others who know you find that you are overly preoccupied or obsessed with sexual activity?
2. Do you find yourself compelled to engage in sexual activity due to stress, anxiety, or depression?
3. Have severe problems developed due to your sexual behavior, like losing a job or relationship, or have you contracted sexually transmitted diseases?
4. Injuries or illnesses
5. Sexual offenses
6. Injuries or illnesses
7. Sexual offenses

When you identify your behavior as falling under any CSB category, you need to find qualified professionals who can help you. Still, only in Christ can you get the most significant help you need.

1. You can call for psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and marriage and family therapists.
2. If you are a student and in College, you can inquire through college or university psychology, psychiatric or counseling departments.
3. You can also ask for a certified sex therapist.

The most significant help you need is to have Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. In the Greek language, the way out of addiction is conversion, called Epistrepho. You need to move from sin to Christ, from darkness to Light, from idols to God, and get busy for the Lord. One needs to move from Sin to Christ, from darkness to Light, from Idols to God, and get busy for the LORD. Way out of Addiction also includes Power Encounter – a personal encounter with Jesus Christ by Putting to death all sinful desires as Paul echoed in Colossians 3:5 and Putting on or clothing self with godly attributes as in Colossians 3:12. You also have to be watchful, flee from any form of evil, meditate on the Word of God, and Pray (Matthew 26:41, Proverbs 7:1-3, Mark 1:35, Matthew 6:13).

For those who are not personally involved but have loved ones that are addicted, you must intercede for them. Intercessory Prayer is essential. And one should encourage loved ones to go for anointing and Spiritual Sanctification. Meditate on the Word of God and Pray (Matthew 26:41, Proverbs 7:1-3, Mark 1:35, Matthew 6:13). Christians need to experience the second blessing and be full of Holy Spirit manifestation to be saved from the schemes of the evil one. These include evil deeds that lead to addiction and, most significantly, sexual addiction. No one by himself is safe from sexual addiction except through God’s anointing and Sanctification.

You are called to the path of righteousness, which can only be achieved by:

1. Studying the Bible systematically;
2. Studying the Bible comprehensively;
3. Studying the Bible devotionally and;
4. Studying the Bible prayerfully.

Love & the Home (4)

 I am propelled to proffer some kinds of divorce busters to unify the family and help them build a good and godly home. ‘Experience is the best teacher’, is a dictum. I got burnt in the spiraling society which led to my divorce after 19 years of marriage. But I got lucky by focusing on the proper perspective on time. God’s perspective is the only good, pleasing and perfect option. God’s perspective helped me, shaped my life, and made me a good mother. I am proud to say my children turned out very well, unlike some in similar circumstances, and they are focused on Jesus Christ, the author, and finisher of our faith. I am today a proud mother and grandmother. My children are excellent examples of integrity, good character, and godly attributes, and they are children of the kingdom of God. Halleluiah. My children  occupy top positions in their various occupations. Taking a cue from my experience, I know better those things that lead to conflict in homes.

Couples create marital conflict by:

1. Failure to make each other happy
2. Determination to deliberately hurt each other.

Marital conflict has nothing to do with firm religious and moral commitments but lies in the power of basic emotional needs. You can only keep true to your marital vows by being realistic about meeting each other’s critical emotional needs, being determined to love as stipulated by Jesus Christ, and opening a ‘love bank.’ Pleasurable interactions cause deposits, and painful interactions cause withdrawals.

All marriages can be saved from divorce. Extramarital affairs are wrong, yet marriages torpedoed by affairs need not sink. They can be towed into a dry dock, repaired, and refitted. They can also be parked on a hanger while repairs are carried out to make them better to fly. Christ-like dedication to your spouse can affair-proof your Marriage and build a relationship that sustains romance and increases intimacy and closeness year after year. Marriage renewal is similar to spiritual renewal. It is necessary, essential, and essential for healthy living.

Commitment and trust are vital bonding links in Marriage but are easily thrown overboard when the spouse’s basic emotional needs are unmet. The spouse becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair. Couples that commit themselves to each other’s needs lay the foundation for lifelong happiness in a marriage that will be more satisfying than they ever deemed possible. In the beginning, God created males and females. Genesis 2: 22 says the woman was created from the rib; God had taken out of man to be a helper suitable for a man. From this, we can deduce that a woman needs affection from a man. Affection symbolizes security, protection, comfort, and approval. God created male and female for companionship. Couples should engage in recreational activities that both could enjoy together. Couples must trust each other totally and keep up honest and open communication to have a successful marriage.

Harley spoke about five laws of Marriage that can be summarized as follows:

1. Men must give their wives affection, and women must give their husbands sex because ‘women want affection and men want sex.’
2. Couples must meet the needs of each other.
3. Couples must converse with each other in a caring way. He advised couples not to use:

• Conversation to get your way at your spouse’s expense;
• Conversation to punish each other (mental and you); and
• Not to dwell on each other’s mistakes, past or present.

4. Couples that play together stay together.
5. Harley’s fifth law indicates that honesty is the best marriage insurance policy.

Christians must make their homes despite trials, seductions, and temptations. Their homes must be conducive for their living mates. Couples must express agape love for each other and devotion to their offspring. There must never be a diary of wrongs. Wipe off the slate of wrongdoings daily before you sleep. Think about the love of Christ and exhibit such love in your home to glorify God. Live a life of repentance and forgiveness. If you enjoy God’s forgiveness from your sins, forgive yourself and your spouse for any sin committed against you. Always be joyful and thankful to God for giving you your own home. No Christian is free from the obedience of the commandments called morals, and these are the Ten Commandments that the two laws Jesus gave hanged on.

My final word on this issue is on, the Wisdom of Solomon 12-15: “Do not invite death through your errors or bring on destruction by the works of your hands. God did not make death, and he does not delight in the death of the living. For He created all things so that they might exist; the generative forces of the world are wholesome, and there is no destructive poison in them, and the dominion of Hades is not on earth. Righteousness is immortal.”

I call for righteous living by Families. My prayer is that God gives us Christian homes.